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I've given in.

General casual fandom blogging now happening here:

Compartmenalising Hmpf @ tumblr

Longer text posts may still appear here on dw and lj occasionally. Certainly any needs-to-be-flocked, kinda-personal stuff will, as well as alerts when I post new fic. But the casual stuff's on tumblr now. I'm sorry. :-(

I kinda hate tumblr, but I'm logged in there 24/7 because it's still one of the better sources of Radiohead news; may as well do my non-Radiohead blogging there, too, for the time being.


Worldcon 2017 in Helsinki

(Gonna reply to your replies soon, just had a very busy few days...)

Is anyone here planning to attend the 2017 Worldcon in Helsinki? The membership rates are about to go up, on Feb. 14, so if you're planning to go, now would be the time to sign up! I'm going to do so this week, I think (still need to check some stuff at work before I do, though).




I don't think I have been this excited about fic since I first discovered it in 1998.

I just named my brand new fic download folder "FIC! OMG FIC!" It just felt natural.


I was busy reading all the Doctor Who fic but then it suddenly occurred to me that I've never seriously checked out Twin Peaks fic, ever, so I went and read all of that, and now I urgently have to make a definitive recs post but don't have the time.

The joy of coming back to reading fanfiction after a long pause is finding that since you last checked any archive, a million new stories have been posted...
So please just go directly to my dreamwidth journal if you want to read about my exciting fannish rebirth. ;-)

And of course, by not sleeping right now

I've already ensured that I'll be a sleep-deprived zombie at work tomorrow, and a complete wreck after work, so I won't be in any state to be creative or social throughout the entire day either.

Which is basically what happens all the time. I'm rarely well-rested, and usually a wreck after work.
though really, even if I completely stopped the minimal amount of social activity that I still pursue (basically, seeing three or four friends once a year or every other year, and another one who tends to be a bit more flexible with her time a little more often than that) - that wouldn't really open up very many days for creative pursuits. Would I get an appreciable amount of writing done if I had five to seven days a year for it that I currently don't have?

I wish my commute wasn't chopped into so many small pieces. I might be able to get some writing done there. But it's all in 7-15 minute chunks - not long enough to really sink your mental teeth into anything.

Time constraints

Actually, considering the very real time constraints, I probably need to focus on just one of the two: social life *or* creativity.

Social life or writing.

because I'm in a deep, heart-pounding panic over how thoroughly I'm wasting the very limited time I have left (three decades of useable brain time, give or take a few years, maybe - I'm from an Alzheimer family and it mostly seems to hit us in our mid-seventies, so I can't really count on more time than that) by doing exactly nothing of any of the things that I feel are the most important in my life.

I am a complete non-presence in the lives of aging relatives whom I love, who may not be around very long anymore, and whom I still don't manage to contact more than once a year.

I am a complete non-presence in the lives of my friends, whom I don't deserve to call friends anymore, who may not think of me as a friend anymore, either, because I've been absent for the better part of a decade.

I haven't really been making new friends either (well - one, I guess.)

I haven't written more than a sentence or two in a whole year.

I haven't done any work on my game level. I haven't done any jewellery design work.

I haven't done any activism in a year or more, and very little in the three or four years before that.

I haven't been active in fandom in any way for years, either.

All my energy is consumed by the daily chores of living: commuting, and working, and grocery shopping, and doing the dishes and the laundry, and so on. There is nothing left for anything else, and there's absolutely no sign of that *ever* changing, because when you work 30 days a month, how *do* you find energy for anything that isn't work?

Last Sunday I was sick and I was so damn grateful. I had a whole day to myself! I couldn't really get into the right frame of mind to actually get creative even so, though. But at least I managed to go through some of my old writing notes.

Maybe I need to *not* go on a "proper" holiday, next year. Maybe I need to portion my vacation days out throughout the year instead, two or three of them every other month, and dedicate those days to creative pursuits and my social life? But how much of both of these can you accomplish in two days every other month?

And anyway, can you resurrect a social life that's been dead for so long? Don't you, rather, have to create a new one from scratch? (Which of course takes more time than a day or two every other month.)

How do you have a life? Will I actually learn how to figure this out before I die?

Book chain

Anybody else ever have that thing happen where books you read one after the other seem to have strange random connections? E.g. the first one has a bit with two big birds attacking the narrator. The second one also has a bit with two big birds attacking someone; also, its main theme is... matter always reconfiguring again in the same ways? The one you read after that starts with a quote by Engels about how matter always returns to the same shapes or something... etc.

Happens to me all the time, and sometimes it's really strange. Several books sharing several characters with the same names; or tackling the same theme *and* the same time period... I should really write all these coincidences down... I think the longest chain of that sort I ever encountered was something like five or six books long. I don't remember the actual links, though.


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